Merry Christmas America

So, America, how was your Christmas?

The highlight of mine?

I tried to eat a candle.

Yeah. Thought it was chocolate.

Sweet.

Cheers,

sick Baer

Christmas...?

So yay, my sore throat went from "well shit, my cold is coming back" to "holy gods, when did the aliens replace my esophagus with sand paper??" in about a day. I am super glad that I don't have any more classes this year because it hurts even to whisper.

In other news, I am once again cooking pumpkin pies. Six in total, the last of the pumpkin my mother brought me. I will bring them to work tomorrow, the elementary this time, and attempt to make it feel like it is Christmas.

I realized that the likelihood of me waking up tomorrow and not remembering it's Christmas is pretty high. I can honestly say that has never happened before.

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas eve.... I made brownies and bought imported gingersnap cookies to bring to the JHS. In addition, I handsewed some felt ornaments and brought other small gifts for a few select teachers. I also received a couple more gifts myself, which I am saving to open tomorrow. Yay!

Today is the last school day, though there are no classes. Instead, everyone dressed in uniform for the closing ceremony. The Japanese are quite fond of their ceremonies. I watched as the vice principle and principal walked onto the stage. They bowed as they came up on the stage, bowed as they approached the microphone, bowed as they backed away from the microphone, and bowed as they left the stage. If there happen to be other people on the stage, they stopped and bowed to them as well. I hid a smile.

Later we are all going out to lunch, for there is no school lunch today. I am hoping maybe I will be allowed to go home early after lunch without taking time off, since there is nothing to do today. Crossing my fingers!

More updates later,
drummer boy Baer

A few things

Well, it was quite exciting to come in to work this morning, open my homepage, the New York Times, and see smack in the middle of the page a picture of two men kissing in Mexico City, holding up a victorious sign "Gay Marriage Revoluton" (emphasis on the "love"). A brand new day indeed! I thought it was a little funny that the report said people were shouting "Yes, we could!" when Obama has done nothing at all for his own gay community. A failure to be added to the ongoing war and the latest disaster in Copenhagen. Anyway, it was an exciting, if totally unrelated-to-Japan way to start my day.

I got quite a wonderful surprise yesterday at work. The "tea lady" Yoshida-san, one of the teachers, and the sort of jack-of-all trades of the office, Kakinuma-san, got together to get me a Christmas present. They are the ones that I usually help around the office, so this was their way of saying thank you. It as so sweet! The Kakinuma-san handcarved an adorable little owl for me! He said it is supposed to bring happiness. I was so touched. Both he and Yoshida-san don't speak a lick of English, but they are the sweetest people and I often rely heavily on Yoshida-san especially. I thanked them profusely and even gave Kakinuma-san a bow this morning for his efforts. I am so excited! I have a present to open on Christmas! ha ha, it made my week.

In other news, I forgot to mention that I got sick for the first time since I've been here. It was just a cold though, so nothing serious. I found some wonderful drugs at the drugstore (after standing in the drugstore and staring blankly at the wall of boxes for probably 15 minutes) that dried me up almost immediately. Yay~ Unfortunately, perhaps because of this weather and my constant need to be in it, my throat is already starting to feel icky again.

The reason I mention this especially is because I was a good little (resident alien) citizen and wore a mask at work to keep from spreading my germs. It is true what you see on TV, that everyone here wears masks, especially in public places (like on the train). However, they don't actually do anything unless you are already sick.... a minor detail, by most standards.

As an extra tidbit to this mornings report, I have to show you a little something that came in my school lunch:

Yes, my friends, that is a packet of tiny little dried fish, seasoned with sesame seeds, for your snacking pleasure. I try very hard never to appear phased by what is put in front of me, for it would not do to offend my hosts, but every time this comes in my school lunch, I just have to laugh! I think a severed lamb head could not look anymore out of place sitting on my lunch plate. I get a real kick out of thinking what would happen if you tried to feed this to American school kids (or even my mother!). One teacher, who always criticises me whenever I don't like something, asked why I didn't eat it. I told her, "it's a bit too strong a fish taste for me". She looked at me like I was crazy and said, "I don't think this is fishy at all!"
...
They are almost entirely plain, little tiny dead fish! I don't think, by the very definition, you can get anymore fishy than that!

Cheers,

I'll-stick-to-chicken Baer

I'm blogging, I'm blogging!

LOL, I get so many complaints that I don't write enough blogs. I'm sorry! I'm glad you guys think my life is interesting enough to warrant daily updates but I am afraid it is just a Japanese version of mundanity. I will give you a few tidbit, to satisfy that rabid curiosity of yours.

First off, it is getting gradually colder here. Not exactly the 15 degrees Fahrenheit that it is in New York, but for a person with no gloves (they're in the mail!), no central heating, and no car... it's pretty cold. It's 50 degrees in my apartment and it is only 4:30 in the afternoon. I find it difficult to get up in the morning because it means leaving the relative warmth of my futon- only to get in a shower that doesn't quite keep the cold air out because the door doesn't close all the way. Then, of course, there is getting out of the shower, which usually involves drying off with a freezing, wet towel because I inevitably forgot to dry it in front of the heater the night before. Even at school, the teachers wear jackets to move between classes in the frigid hallways.

School itself has been alright. I don't know if I ever mentioned it, but I was given an assistant at the elementary, and she translates everything for me between the other teachers and the students. It is heavenly. It has made my working life in that school 100% less stressful. Because there are two of us, we have ended up taking over all the classes, with her taking the place that normally the homeroom teacher would take. The result is that I more or less run all of the classes as the main teacher. It is not so bad because there are set lesson plans that I just have to follow. I love my assistant! I am really sad/scared because I talked to my friend, another JET, Bob, and he told me that our assistants will be leaving us in January.

Noooooooooooooooo!

More bad news, Hashiba-sensei informed me that the school board will be replacing all of the computers in mid-January... and ALTs no longer qualify for having their own computer. Really, it's almost worse news than losing my assistant. I very well might die from boredom. On a more serious note, it really irritates me; Japan is expanding their English education program, so they limit the resources of their English teachers? I'm sorry, can you say that again with a straight face?

Bitterness aside, I have to say again that I am so grateful for this job. I love it. I don't think I will ever not be an awkward panda when it comes to dealing with children/youth, but it is really not such a problem.

Speaking (belatedly) of the elementary, today was my last day of teacher classes for the year. Yay!

Back at home... things have been quiet this month. After my last concerts, plus Xmas presents, plus shipping said Xmas presents, I have less than no money to do anything, so I stay home. It's no so bad, as you read about my Santa adventures. I have not even had to do any cooking lately. The tea lady at my school gives me left overs from every school lunch. I combine that with what I don't eat of my lunch and bring it home for dinner. Instant free meal 4 nights a week. A good money saver and hella easy on me.

Typical School Lunch

Seeing how the weekend is coming up, however, I had to do some cooking to get me through Friday-Sunday. I will teach you the secret to all Japanese cooking: soy sauce, mirin, and sake. You put these three things on anything, and you have easy Japanese cooking. The reason I have not been posting food updates is because, when I do have to cook, that is usually just what I use. I buy whatever meat and vegetables are cheap and/or on sale, throw them in the frying pan, and stir fry in soy sauce, mirin, and sake. Sometimes adding a little sugar is a good idea too, but I usually forget. No matter what recipe I ask my Japanese friends/coworkers about, they always always tell me to cook whatever it is in these three ingredients. It's not fool-safe, but pretty damn close. I don't even measure the amounts anymore.

On the right you can see what I cooked for this weekend. It is beef slices, green beans, green onions, sweet potato, mushrooms, a little fried tofu, and some random lettucy-stuff that I got from the school garden. In soy sauce, mirin, and sake.

I did cook something a little exciting at the same time. I am not sure what it is actually called... I just call it hijiki, because that is the main ingredient, but it's a little like calling a salad merely lettuce. On the left you can see what I am talking about. Hijiki is a very short, very mild tasting seaweed. It has none of the fishy taste that most seaweed has. With it I cooked some sort of soft white bean, and a particular type of thinly sliced tofu that I can only say is fried, because I don't know the name. Cooked in -you guessed it!- soy sauce, mirin, and sake. It's really very good. I am actually missing some ingredients, but I made it based on memory from what I ate in my school lunch, so...

I was told by one of my English teaachers that I was a "fantastic American" because I like hijiki. That made me laugh. Hijiki is nothing. If you can eat natto (I cannot!!), then I think you qualify as "fantastic" (or at least olfactory and taste-bud deprived).

Cheers,

cold Baer

Santa Comes Early

This last weekend, I had the chance to be Santa Clause.

One of Masa's students - Masa is Yuki's boyfriend and owner of a small English school - was having a Christmas party, and the parents wanted a Santa to come and surprise the kids. Masa was busy, so he asked me to do it, and I gladly agreed.

Last Wednesday, Yuki brought over the costume for me to try on. Predictably, I was nowhere near fat enough to pull off a real Santa, so we improvised. Using the ties for my yukata, I tied a huge pillow around my torso. This looked pretty good, but left me a little lopsided, so I took my Rilakkuma pillow and stuffed it down the back of my pants to give me a big butt. Perfect! One poorly attached beard and some fake eyebrows and I was ready for the show.

The actual party was on Saturday. That morning, I practiced my Santa voice in the shower - the acoustics are good for something other than singing, it turns out. I used the deepest voice I could muster and discovered that, with a little Sean Connery thrown in (he is an epitome of masculinity, after all), it was passable to the non-native ear.

We had some extra time on the way to the party, so when we saw a hill lit up with lights, we decided to stop. I threw on my beard and my swagger, and hammed it up the best I could. Yuki gave me some sleigh bells that I attached to my shoe, so that I jingled with every step I took. There were lots of kids walking around with their parents, and both children and adults alike turned and stared, exclaiming "Santa-san!". Christmas is actually popular here in its own way, but I don't think they have the exposure to fake Santa's that we do in the States. Thus, I think I made quite a spectacle of myself. One little girl, probably 4 years old, was staring at me with such huge little eyes, I had to turn and talk to her, asking if she had been a good little girl, etc. Yuki translated for me. Even some teenagers were following me around, taking pictures with their cell phones. I got quite a kick out of it, and would randomly start talking in a loud voice, such things as "Oh, I wish Rudolf could have come!" "That's a mighty nice tree!" "That castle is nice, but mine is a little bigger", etc. In truth, I could have said anything, recited my grocery list, and it would have had about the same effect, I think. Yuki was laughing so hard she could barely walk.

After waddling back down the hill, we headed to the party. The party was being held at golf club- nice and public! We walked in the entrance and there two unrelated parties being held in side rooms. The parents had prepared a pile of presents, labeled with names, and left them by the door. After the children were made aware of my presence, they came barrelling into the room and skidded to a stop a food away from me, suddenly not so sure if they could hug so strange a personage. I gave a jolly laugh, said a few things, and Yuki translated. There were 7 families there, and quite a few kids. All the moms had their cameras out, snapping pictures, while at least 1 dad had his video camera, catching it all on tape from the first "ho, ho, ho". I called the kids names out, one by one (muddling more than a few, I'm sure) and handed them their presents. I did my best to make a production of it, pretending that some of the bigger presents were too heavy for me to lift. After one particularly ridiculous effort, I stood doubled over, pretending to catch my breath from the effort. This adorable little boy ("I'm 6 years old!") and his older companion were looking at me with the utmost consternation, asking over and over, "Daijoubu, Santa-san? Santa-san, daiijoubu?!" ("Are you ok, Santa? Santa, are you ok?!"). I reassured them, but since I did so in English, they remained quite concerned.

Afterward, we went to a private house to give presents to the children who couldn't come to the party because one of them was sick. They were older children, but seemed to like it a lot anyway. It was fun.

Afterward, we went to Masa's school to pick him up for dinner. I took off my costume. I thought the "hidden Santa" was pretty funny, so I took a picture:

Cheers,

Santa Baer

Fridays

Ah, Fridays. I have mixed feelings about Fridays. While standard TGIF applies, this also happens to be the one day a week I go to my elementary. For a variety of reasons, the elementary is the part of my job I enjoy the least (to put it kindly). Chief among these is because I am at a serious lingual disadvantage. What if my supporter, who translates for me, to get sick and miss a day? I'd be left in the Japanese equivalent of lingual Siberia. I think the teachers have all quite given up on talking to me, even, perhaps, grown to dislike me a bit. I can only be paranoid as I listen to them chatter, eyeing them over my coffee as I hear my name battered about.

I have to say studying here is a very rewarding process. I have always found studying language to be exciting and rewarding but... actually living here? Everything is just so much more relevant. I once heard someone describe language learning as a process of "leveling up", as in a video game. This is so true. Even just a little bit of study and my ear perk, catching things I didn't catch a moment before. XP, baby (XP=experience points, for you non-geeks). It's almost absurd how excited I get when I stumble on an explanation for a word or grammar point that I hear literally a hundred times a day.

Today was the perfect example.

At the elementary, I don't generally bring my textbooks with me to study because.... it's annoying, and I don't have a real desk to actually store stuff. However, at the end of the day, I once again had a lot of time on my hands and nothing to do. This is made more awkward because one of the support teachers sits right next to me. He's a nice fellow from as far as I can tell, but we sit less than a foot apart, sharing one desk and neither of us really speaks the other's language (any of them)... so, we have thus far mostly ignored each other out of awkwardness.

Today, he saw me practically stabbing myself through the eye with bordom and offered an olive branch. It was pretty freakin' awkward, I'll give you that, because I simply couldn't think of what to say, but it was a legitimate attempt at friendliness that I could not afford to miss out on. So, when he left for a moment, I whipped my mini dictionary out of my purse and started looking up words. lol. When he returned I expertly (pfffft) offered him a compliment on his excellent study of Japanese (he is Brazilian) which he blushingly denied. Aww. In return, he pulled out his sketchbook and let me look through it. I recognized many of the characters from the popular manga Slam Dunk, which I have never read.

Such moments remind me why struggling with textbooks is worth it.

Cheers,

super-suave Baer

JETs Agree: Kabocha is NOT pumpkin

Last Friday we had a seminar in Maebashi. It was riveting, as usual. However, the real excitement was afterward, when a big group of JETs got together for a belated Thanksgiving. I don't have too much to say. It was not bad. We had turkey (though it was dry), stuffing (though it tasted weird), mashed potatoes (perfect!), gravy, cranberry sauce (I don't eat these things...), so it was pretty legit. I don't think I was the only one, however, who was really holding out for pumpkin pie. That was, unfortunately, quite a disappointment. I don't think anyone gave the cook an actual pumpkin pie recipe so... we had kabocha/squash pie, not really resembling pumpkin pie in any way, shape, or form. I think that if they had had a real recipe, enough cinnamon and ginger could have made kabocha taste more like pumpkin but... c'est la vie. I am just glad I had my own pumpkin pie at home.

(Being dorky and enjoying our pie)

Cheers,

okay-I-think-I've-had-enough-pumpkin-pie-now Baer